Trans people get it even worse, he says: « The aggressive views people have toward [them] are far more openly hostile. Even having your profile verified by or linked to a trans person is a black spot to some. »
For couples, the lure seems more about engaging in what we know as traditional swinging, where long-term relationships open themselves up in order to-theoretically-get stronger
It’s 7 AM now and the sun is rising on another cold Sunday in London. A guy with « creampie » in his username has evidently had a great evening, writing, « Wow what a night, another non-stop cum filling gangbang party with 2 girls going home dripping with warm cum. »
When users meet, some prefer to have a drink first, while others like getting straight into it, with reviews dripping with tales of women opening doors in lingerie. Generally, women and couples seem more open to accommodating, while men seem more open to paying for hotel rooms or having sex in cars. The reason for this, a cynic might argue, is that these men are cheating on their wives and girlfriends.
Horniness partly explains Fab Swingers’ popularity. For women especially, the site is a stigma-free zone where heightened sexuality can be explored anonymously. Researching this story, however, and trawling through the site for many weeks, the number of time users are spending on there became apparent. In London alone, hundreds of the same men and women are logged in all the time, while thousands of the same people log in multiple times an hour-not to mention many others doing this around the rest of the UK.
On the female profile I created to access men, dozens of the same guys messaged me morning, noon, and night, despite me never replying, posting a photo, or writing a single word on the profile. About a third of active users appear to have never met anyone, even though some of their accounts are over a year old.
This leads me to wonder if horniness is that big of a factor in Fab Swingers’ popularity- or if, in fact, it’s more about escapism. Though sexual fantasies lure people here, what keeps them coming back may be the site’s constant activity, where things like messaging, searching, and taking photos can turn one hour into five, and-like gaming, drugs, and social media-offer mental relief from the rigors of everyday life.
Ironically, despite someone banging your significant other being more offensive to non-swingers than singles having casual sex, couples on Fab Swingers appear better-adjusted, safer, and less prone to the site’s downsides than others
Of course, nothing provides escape quite like casual sex, but on Fab Swingers, the quest for something that is, by definition, meaningless seems much more important than actually attaining it.
As the site explodes in popularity, then, what this reveals about users-and perhaps the intolerable nature of modern existence-goes way beyond their naked flesh.
« I do feel slightly addicted, » says the 23-year-old woman, « especially when you get so many messages and positive attention. In my real life I’m a loner, so it sounds lame but it’s just nice to feel noticed, even though I worry about what that might mean for my self-worth. I’ve had a difficult year, struggling with [my] mental health alone, and places like Fab Swingers have served as a good distraction. »
By 8 AM the sun is almost completely up. Throughout London, Saturday night’s festivities appear to have come to an end, with satisfied sighs echoing across Fab Swingers. « What a night xxx, » writes one 37-year-old woman. « Well that was fun, » writes another user in Clapham. Then, with the final layer of darkness evaporating upon the Thames River, a 28-year-old gay guy signals that, on Fab Swingers, Sunday morning’s festivities have only just begun.
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This suggests that, rather than being byproducts of swinging, these downsides have migrated over with users looking for quick sex with no understanding of « the lifestyle. » Many of these have come from Tinder and OkCupid, along with Craigslist’s recently deleted personals section-all previous ports for people wanting to get it in.
Horniness partly explains Fab Swingers’ popularity. For women especially, the site is a stigma-free zone where heightened sexuality can be explored anonymously. Researching this story, however, and trawling through the site for many weeks, the number of time users are spending on there became apparent. In London alone, hundreds of the same men and women are logged in all the time, while thousands of the same people log in multiple times an hour-not to mention many others doing this around the rest of the UK.
At 10 PM, a trans woman writes that she and a friend are at E15 Club-a gay sauna in Stratford-« looking for snow. » Her profile pic is blurry, but that’s not out of the ordinary amid Fab Swingers’ universally poor photography.
One downside is fakes. Despite most users being verified-if not by others, then by photographing themselves alongside their usernames-thousands are not. If a profile has no verifications and isn’t brand new, something is likely afoot-especially when photos of a beautiful woman or impossibly large dick are involved. These fakes often invite unsuspecting users onto Kik, where they’ll solicit face pics or videos before disappearing, having presumably gotten their kicks.
As the site explodes in popularity, then, what this reveals about users-and perhaps the intolerable nature of modern existence-goes way beyond their naked flesh.
Out of the thousands of messages she receives, she says, 85 percent feature cock international cupid shots: « Maybe that’s why other women find it bothersome, but it’s not like the site is for meeting your knitting group, so why get offended? »
The 27-year-old guy I speak to, however, believes that Fab Swingers’ biggest downside is the lack of inclusion. « Fab offers people the opportunity to indulge in certain desires-however, it also highlights questionable personal values and cultural views, » he says. « I’m bisexual. Some members from older generations or religious backgrounds refuse to associate or message someone labeled as such. Apparently, hosting an orgy is fine, but the fact that you e sex is immoral. »